Abuser Red Flag
Frankie:
My boyfriend of 6 months does not get along with my family (mom and 2 brothers). He says they dislike and disrespect him. I haven’t seen any evidence of this but my mom has told me she doesn’t think he is good for me. I won’t go into the details of why.
Last week my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum. He said he doesn’t want to have any contact with my family and if I continue to see them he will take it as a sign that I side with them over him. We had a heated argument and he told me I had to choose.
I am so confused. I don’t know what to do about this because I love my family and my boyfriend. Help!
Suni
Suni:
Your boyfriend’s demand is not only unreasonable it is a huge red flag. Family is important and it seems like you have a good connection with yours. You shouldn’t have to choose! While it is true that your partner should come first, it doesn’t mean there is no room for other relationships with family and friends.
I am VERY concerned about the ultimatum and what it says about your boyfriend on many levels. But my biggest trepidation is that it is typical of an abuser to try to isolate his partner from their support network.
Whatever you do, don’t agree to his demand because it will be the first in a long line of unacceptable orders – you’ll end up in a dictatorship rather than a partnership.
Frankie
My boyfriend of 6 months does not get along with my family (mom and 2 brothers). He says they dislike and disrespect him. I haven’t seen any evidence of this but my mom has told me she doesn’t think he is good for me. I won’t go into the details of why.
Last week my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum. He said he doesn’t want to have any contact with my family and if I continue to see them he will take it as a sign that I side with them over him. We had a heated argument and he told me I had to choose.
I am so confused. I don’t know what to do about this because I love my family and my boyfriend. Help!
Suni
Suni:
Your boyfriend’s demand is not only unreasonable it is a huge red flag. Family is important and it seems like you have a good connection with yours. You shouldn’t have to choose! While it is true that your partner should come first, it doesn’t mean there is no room for other relationships with family and friends.
I am VERY concerned about the ultimatum and what it says about your boyfriend on many levels. But my biggest trepidation is that it is typical of an abuser to try to isolate his partner from their support network.
Whatever you do, don’t agree to his demand because it will be the first in a long line of unacceptable orders – you’ll end up in a dictatorship rather than a partnership.
Frankie
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home