Putting Your Life on Hold
Dear Frankie,
Do long distance relationships really work? I met my soulmate at one of the dating sites a year ago, we met last valentines , we fell in love, but my thing is , I am longing for someone who can be with me on Friday nights, going to movies and concerts ( which I am really a big fan of oncerts).
He lives in the UK and I live in Mississauga, he is the man I wanted all my life, very sensible and established, but he won't give up his life in the UK and there is no way that I am moving there,( as i have 2 kids here ).
What are the chances that this relationship will last until I will be free from the responsibility of my children? Should I give up this relationship and find someone close to me ? Pls help.
Sagrada
Dear Sagrada:
You don't say how long before you expect to be able to move to the UK. I sense it isn't going to be anytime soon and therein lies the problem.
Long distance romances can be both delightful and painful...providing extreme emotional highs and lows: a rollercoaster that is not representative of real life.
When both parties are committed to making it work there is a chance of success, but it is still a difficult and complex situation. Until you are able to be together full time you will both experience unfulfilled needs and desires. The longer you are apart, the more aware you will become of what is missing in your day to day lives; things that can't be satisfied by a long distance relationship - things that will eventually drive you apart.
In my experience if there is not a strong desire to be together that results in one party moving...then how genuine is the relationship? How committed are the two parties when neither are willing to do what it takes to be together?
You are putting a lot of store in the potential of a future with this man.
Should you look for someone closer?
Evaluate your circumstances from a logical perspective, putting aside all emotion. Ask yourself if you are willing to put a large part of your life on hold for a number of years before you can be together. How will you keep the relationship alive and strong during those years? Will you visit each other frequently or not? Has he stated that he wants to marry you or be in a committed relationship with you? How can you guarantee that you will both feel the same way about each other when you are finally ready to be together?
So many questions...but the bottom line is that a successful relationship requires work. Being apart makes it extremely difficult to do that.
Good luck.
Frankie
Do long distance relationships really work? I met my soulmate at one of the dating sites a year ago, we met last valentines , we fell in love, but my thing is , I am longing for someone who can be with me on Friday nights, going to movies and concerts ( which I am really a big fan of oncerts).
He lives in the UK and I live in Mississauga, he is the man I wanted all my life, very sensible and established, but he won't give up his life in the UK and there is no way that I am moving there,( as i have 2 kids here ).
What are the chances that this relationship will last until I will be free from the responsibility of my children? Should I give up this relationship and find someone close to me ? Pls help.
Sagrada
Dear Sagrada:
You don't say how long before you expect to be able to move to the UK. I sense it isn't going to be anytime soon and therein lies the problem.
Long distance romances can be both delightful and painful...providing extreme emotional highs and lows: a rollercoaster that is not representative of real life.
When both parties are committed to making it work there is a chance of success, but it is still a difficult and complex situation. Until you are able to be together full time you will both experience unfulfilled needs and desires. The longer you are apart, the more aware you will become of what is missing in your day to day lives; things that can't be satisfied by a long distance relationship - things that will eventually drive you apart.
In my experience if there is not a strong desire to be together that results in one party moving...then how genuine is the relationship? How committed are the two parties when neither are willing to do what it takes to be together?
You are putting a lot of store in the potential of a future with this man.
Should you look for someone closer?
Evaluate your circumstances from a logical perspective, putting aside all emotion. Ask yourself if you are willing to put a large part of your life on hold for a number of years before you can be together. How will you keep the relationship alive and strong during those years? Will you visit each other frequently or not? Has he stated that he wants to marry you or be in a committed relationship with you? How can you guarantee that you will both feel the same way about each other when you are finally ready to be together?
So many questions...but the bottom line is that a successful relationship requires work. Being apart makes it extremely difficult to do that.
Good luck.
Frankie
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home