What's Wrong with this Picture?
Question:
I just turned 50 and am single again after 25 years of marriage, which ended in divorce. I want to date but find that the social scene for singles is pretty much split into two groups: young and over the hill. I am neither and I resent this artificially imposed age barrier that prevents me from meeting suitable, active people who are a bit younger or close to my age. All I seem to meet at outings for my age group are men who are in their 60's and 70's. Who screens these guys anyway?
How do I find single men in my age group?
Carole B.
Carole:
The best advice I can give you is to develop a plan of action that covers a number of bases and puts you into situations where you will meet people - but understand that if your goal is to meet a 'qualified' potential partner, your likelihood of success will vary dependant upon the venue you select.
I categorize attraction venues as follows:
Level 1: Public places like supermarkets, wine festivals, flea markets, etc., with a large number of people, but with a slim to zero chance of finding someone suitable.
Level 2: Generic singles settings such as singles bars, clubs and events, or personal ads, etc. While your odds increase because you have a opportunity to meet singles in one location, finding qualified partners is still a challenge.
Level 3: Settings in which you share a strong interest with other attendees, like a ski club, fitness class, hiking club, theatre group, dance classes, etc., are great for making friends and provide an opportunity to meet a like minded partner, either directly or through a newly formed friendship. As you widen your circle of friends you have a greater likelihood of connecting with their friends, one of whom may be a perfect match for you.
Level 4: Settings in which you share important values, goals or passions can often be the best venues to meet someone who has the same requirements and view of life. Church groups, service organizations, volunteering, personal growth workshops, etc., are environments that help us focus on our values and understanding of what is important in our lives. When you meet someone who is running on a parallel track to yours, you know you share essential values. As with Level 3 groups, widening your circle of these friends could provide you with an introduction to your life partner.
I just turned 50 and am single again after 25 years of marriage, which ended in divorce. I want to date but find that the social scene for singles is pretty much split into two groups: young and over the hill. I am neither and I resent this artificially imposed age barrier that prevents me from meeting suitable, active people who are a bit younger or close to my age. All I seem to meet at outings for my age group are men who are in their 60's and 70's. Who screens these guys anyway?
How do I find single men in my age group?
Carole B.
Carole:
The best advice I can give you is to develop a plan of action that covers a number of bases and puts you into situations where you will meet people - but understand that if your goal is to meet a 'qualified' potential partner, your likelihood of success will vary dependant upon the venue you select.
I categorize attraction venues as follows:
Level 1: Public places like supermarkets, wine festivals, flea markets, etc., with a large number of people, but with a slim to zero chance of finding someone suitable.
Level 2: Generic singles settings such as singles bars, clubs and events, or personal ads, etc. While your odds increase because you have a opportunity to meet singles in one location, finding qualified partners is still a challenge.
Level 3: Settings in which you share a strong interest with other attendees, like a ski club, fitness class, hiking club, theatre group, dance classes, etc., are great for making friends and provide an opportunity to meet a like minded partner, either directly or through a newly formed friendship. As you widen your circle of friends you have a greater likelihood of connecting with their friends, one of whom may be a perfect match for you.
Level 4: Settings in which you share important values, goals or passions can often be the best venues to meet someone who has the same requirements and view of life. Church groups, service organizations, volunteering, personal growth workshops, etc., are environments that help us focus on our values and understanding of what is important in our lives. When you meet someone who is running on a parallel track to yours, you know you share essential values. As with Level 3 groups, widening your circle of these friends could provide you with an introduction to your life partner.
1 Comments:
I never gave any thought to the best places to meet a guy until I read your post. You make so much sense. No wonder I felt like I would never meet my prince charming. My search usually includes bars and singles dances even though I do a lot of volunteer work. I have met lots of guys volunteering but have kept my personal life separate from my volunteer work. I'm going to change that. Wish me luck.
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