Too Sexy for my own Good?
Question:
I have been out of the dating scene for a few years and it’s only been recently that I've found the confidence to date again. I lost over 50 pounds and I have never looked better in my life. (I am 34).
But I am not sure if the dating scene has changed or if I am sending out the wrong signals to the men I date. My last 3 "first" (and last!!) dates have ended in a mess with the man suggesting we have sex.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a prude, but that is just too fast for me. What am I doing wrong? Am I giving off the wrong signals? Am I dressing too provocatively (I don't think so - I just wear clothes that fit.)
Help me understand what is going on!
Too Sexy for my Own Good
Dear Sexy:
Just because a woman wears a sexy outfit doesn't give a man license to make assumptions about her moral character. In fact, no one has the right to judge another.
Don’t change who you are, or how you express yourself through dress, just because you’ve had a few unpleasant experiences. Be yourself. Authenticity always rules.
I do suggest however, that you be more careful screening the men you date. You may want to consider a few casual “activity” dates first, such as taking in a hockey game or going skating. You can arrange to meet at the venue, (take your own vehicle or the subway), then go for a quick coffee afterwards and part ways. This is a great way to get to know someone first without getting into an awkward, intimate situation.
Frankie
I have been out of the dating scene for a few years and it’s only been recently that I've found the confidence to date again. I lost over 50 pounds and I have never looked better in my life. (I am 34).
But I am not sure if the dating scene has changed or if I am sending out the wrong signals to the men I date. My last 3 "first" (and last!!) dates have ended in a mess with the man suggesting we have sex.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a prude, but that is just too fast for me. What am I doing wrong? Am I giving off the wrong signals? Am I dressing too provocatively (I don't think so - I just wear clothes that fit.)
Help me understand what is going on!
Too Sexy for my Own Good
Dear Sexy:
Just because a woman wears a sexy outfit doesn't give a man license to make assumptions about her moral character. In fact, no one has the right to judge another.
Don’t change who you are, or how you express yourself through dress, just because you’ve had a few unpleasant experiences. Be yourself. Authenticity always rules.
I do suggest however, that you be more careful screening the men you date. You may want to consider a few casual “activity” dates first, such as taking in a hockey game or going skating. You can arrange to meet at the venue, (take your own vehicle or the subway), then go for a quick coffee afterwards and part ways. This is a great way to get to know someone first without getting into an awkward, intimate situation.
Frankie
1 Comments:
Frankie I agree with you on several fronts. Women can't be held responsible when men objectify them, but it's also hard to deal with. It is demoralizing and can make you want to crawl into a hole and forget about dating altogether. Taking your time to get to know a man and keeping boundaries does work. If a man can't respect that, the likelihood is he doesn't respect women in general. So ladies ask yourself: Is that the type of person you'd want to date?
Post a Comment
<< Home