She Keeps Saying "No"!
Question:
There is a woman I am interested in at work (ok...I am crazy about her) but every time I ask her to go out with me, she has an excuse. Isn't she interested in me? Am I being rejected but don't know it yet?
Confused in Toronto
Dear Confused:
I have more questions than you do!
First, asking a co-worker out is a bit tricky. You've heard of office affairs that have gone bad with devastating career results. I don't know what the working relationship is between you two, but that could be part of the problem. If either of you are in a subordinate role to the other, dating is definitely NOT a sane idea. It just gets too complicated and the possible consequences are not worth it. Don't go there.
She may not want to date a co-worker, but doesn't know how to tell you in a nice way that will not adversely impact the business relationship...or, she is really not interested...or, she is truly busy each time you have asked her.
Regardless...and please pay attention to this: my recommendation is to stop asking her. Your repeated attempts are bordering on harassment. There are thousands of single women in the GTA - go find one who is right for you.
Frankie
There is a woman I am interested in at work (ok...I am crazy about her) but every time I ask her to go out with me, she has an excuse. Isn't she interested in me? Am I being rejected but don't know it yet?
Confused in Toronto
Dear Confused:
I have more questions than you do!
First, asking a co-worker out is a bit tricky. You've heard of office affairs that have gone bad with devastating career results. I don't know what the working relationship is between you two, but that could be part of the problem. If either of you are in a subordinate role to the other, dating is definitely NOT a sane idea. It just gets too complicated and the possible consequences are not worth it. Don't go there.
She may not want to date a co-worker, but doesn't know how to tell you in a nice way that will not adversely impact the business relationship...or, she is really not interested...or, she is truly busy each time you have asked her.
Regardless...and please pay attention to this: my recommendation is to stop asking her. Your repeated attempts are bordering on harassment. There are thousands of single women in the GTA - go find one who is right for you.
Frankie
2 Comments:
Frankie,
I can relate to the coworker who is being asked out. That exact same situation happened to me last year and I tried to be polite and make excuses hoping the guy would get the picture without there being any hard feeling. I was hoping he would just give up. He didn't and my life at work became hell. He got nasty and I had to involve my boss and the HR department. He ended up leaving the company. If this ever happens to me again, I will make it very clear I am not interested.
Frankie,
I realize now that I was not looking at the bigger picture. I was obsessing about what I wanted and not considering my co-worker's feelings or situation. What a schmuck I am. Thanks for your advice. I feel like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over my head, but I sure needed it.
No longer confused
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