Long Distance Love or Out of Touch?
I’m a single guy, 42 years old, divorced with no children, and am definitely interested in getting married in the next couple of years. I met this fantastic woman on the internet 4 months ago. She’s 37, never married and incredible. We’ve only seen each other, in person, four times (for several days each time) as I live in Del Mar, California and she lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I never thought I could find someone with whom I seem to have so much in common.
My friends say I’m crazy to even consider a long distance relationship. Am I?
Neither of us has discussed plans to move, yet there is an undeniable truth that we’re both incredibly attracted to each other on all levels and that we would like to take things further. I’m told there are thousands of wonderful women in San Diego County who I could easily date and see more often. For some reason, however, I’ve not been able to find anyone I’m particularly attracted to in my own area. While it’s definitely not fun to have a relationship like this, what do you think the chances are of making it work? I used to think long distance relationships were insane, until I had it happen to me.
Should I continue with this or move on and try something else?
Is long distance just too far to make a real connection?
Mark
Dear Mark:
Long distance relationships only work as a casual dating situation, when both individuals just want to have fun and get together on occasion. Once you cross the threshold of considering that person as a potential life partner, things change and trouble could be brewing. Here is why: love partners need to be together in order to make a relationship work. This means that one of you will have to move (or both of you to a new location). The longer you put off having this discussion, the deeper you will get into the relationship without having any idea of where it could be heading. That is dangerous and puts both of you at huge emotional risk. If neither of you are prepared to move for love, it is best to know that immediately and cut your losses - as painful as that may be. It won't be any easier to land at this crossroad 6 months down the road. Have a serious chat with your lady love once you have considered your own situation and assessed your options.
Good Luck!
Frankie
My friends say I’m crazy to even consider a long distance relationship. Am I?
Neither of us has discussed plans to move, yet there is an undeniable truth that we’re both incredibly attracted to each other on all levels and that we would like to take things further. I’m told there are thousands of wonderful women in San Diego County who I could easily date and see more often. For some reason, however, I’ve not been able to find anyone I’m particularly attracted to in my own area. While it’s definitely not fun to have a relationship like this, what do you think the chances are of making it work? I used to think long distance relationships were insane, until I had it happen to me.
Should I continue with this or move on and try something else?
Is long distance just too far to make a real connection?
Mark
Dear Mark:
Long distance relationships only work as a casual dating situation, when both individuals just want to have fun and get together on occasion. Once you cross the threshold of considering that person as a potential life partner, things change and trouble could be brewing. Here is why: love partners need to be together in order to make a relationship work. This means that one of you will have to move (or both of you to a new location). The longer you put off having this discussion, the deeper you will get into the relationship without having any idea of where it could be heading. That is dangerous and puts both of you at huge emotional risk. If neither of you are prepared to move for love, it is best to know that immediately and cut your losses - as painful as that may be. It won't be any easier to land at this crossroad 6 months down the road. Have a serious chat with your lady love once you have considered your own situation and assessed your options.
Good Luck!
Frankie
1 Comments:
Frankie:
I recently ended a long distance relationship that I had been in for over 3 years. The reason it ended was because neither of us could relocate. Sad thing is that we were both aware of this from the start. We just had a great love for each other that ignored this fact. In hindsight I wish I had given the whole relationship more thought at the beginning instead of allowing myself to be swept away in the emotion and passion. Three years later and a river of tears has brought me to the decision I should have made a long time ago. While I don't regret the love we had, I do regret that I kept myself unavailable for a man who might have been able to give me the relationship I wanted.
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